How to not let fear make decisions
As I look back on this past year, I like to get reflective during December, I have had a lot of fun experiences and also some of the hardest ones. However, every time I think back on all that this past year has held, it looks something like this.
Started my own business
Moved out of my parent's house
Lived in an apartment
Got engaged
Planned a wedding
Got married
Became a daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, aunt
To say that a lot has happened in the past year is an understatement, but when I look back on this list, which is just the highlight reel, I think of how many of those things, I didn’t have to do.
I didn’t have to do any of them, not really.
I didn’t have to start my own business, move out, live in an apartment, get engaged, plan a bomb wedding, or get married which would effectively take away my new titles.
NONE of those were forced on or required of me, but in every one of those, I felt the Lord calling me to them, being present with me in transitions and He came through every time. It doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared, I was, but I didn’t let fear make the decision for me.
Jess Connolly, who if you stick around will quickly find out she is one of my favorite authors, puts it this way: “the time antidote to fear is actually just making courageous and faithful moves.”
We have to move if we are to stomp out fear. We have to go on the offensive. We have to decide (and recognize) that we are afraid, we don’t shove that emotion aside or bury it. We recognize it, acknowledge it, and decide to act anyway.
There is something coming for my business in the next couple of weeks that is going to shift things for me both personally and business-wise, but you know what, I couldn’t be more safe and steady.
I have God with me in it and I would rather look back and think “I did it scared and look how God used my being faithful even when it would have been easier to not.”
I am going to choose faith over fear, and choose to be faithful in the steps laid before me.
Many announcements are coming this month, and I want you to be along for the journey because I hope it inspires you to be courageous with me.
You already have what it takes to step into God’s calling on your life if you are in a relationship with Him, the Holy Spirit.
What if 2022 was the year fear didn’t make decisions for you?
What if 2022 was the year that you took BIG steps of faith?
What if at the end of 2022, you could say: “I did it scare and look how God used my faithfulness?”
What do you say? Want to choose to see fear and choose courageous steps anyway?
Let’s do it together, starting 2022, and maybe a bit before, you will be seeing more from me, more encouragement, more resources, and a weekly email, if you are subscribed.
Make sure you are in a community with people who believe in you and what God can do with your faithfulness!
How to be present in a conversation
It is something we all need to do, but can be difficult to balance.
It is something we all need, but when it is out of balance, we can seriously struggle with it.
There are a lot of aspects to community and doing it well, but the one thing that is ever-present when you are with another is just that: presence….
The question is, are you fully present?
When you are fully present with someone, you listen to them, affirm what they say, and summarize what they said in your own words. You aren’t thinking about what you are having for lunch or the fact that you need to get your oil changed...your heart, mind, and attention are focused.
Did ya catch that? There are multiple parts to being present.
Heart. Mind. and Soul.
Heart.
Our heart has to genuinely care for someone, not just do so because we are supposed to. People can tell when you are being fake, so if you are trying to grow in a community and communicate that you are present, make sure that your heart is in the right place. You can do this, but take a minute to ask yourself:
What are my motives when meeting someone?
How can I serve and encourage this person?
Mind.
Being present with someone is a human craving. We want to be heard, known, understood and loved. However, oftentimes this isn’t met because we spend so much time “doing” that we forget to “be.” And actually, our culture worships and praises those who “do” more than those who “are.”
Don’t misunderstand me—I love to hustle and be productive, but I have also realized that my best work and the best moments of being present have come from the fact that I don’t work all the time.
Our minds are a gift from God, but we can get so jam packed with hustle that we can’t focus for an hour coffee with someone without creating a tangent list on our phone at the same time (it works, let me tell you!)
However, I know for me, I want to get to the point where I don’t need that tangent list. I want to just be able to be present and trust that everything on my mind is in God’s hands and He has got this!
Soul.
We are not JUST earthly beings (insert ET phone home voice here!); we are a part of an eternal one as well. We will not feel as though we are present with those around us, until we realize that first and foremost, we have to be present with our heavenly father throughout our day.
Spending time with our heavenly Father is not a to-do list or task to check off the list, but a relationship that is ever-present (did you catch that?). And the best part is, God wants us no matter what has happened (or not happened) in our day no matter how great we have been or if we have tanked it.
Being able to be present with those around us is a gift and only possible when we lean in and trust God to hold the rest of our lives, so we can be present with the person sitting next to us.
Now my question to you is, are you good at being present?
Observe yourself
Are you listening to them?
Are you able to summarize what they said?
Is your body language communicating openness?
Want more tips on how to communicate well and be present, subscribe to my email list, so you don’t miss a thing!
The Spiritual Side of Conflict
It all begins with an idea.
Whether or not you are a spiritual person or not, you can benefit from my help, but I will not hide the fact that everything I do when it comes to conflict is rooted in my faith in Christ and in the lesson’s I have learned from the bible and my Heavenly Father about His heart for conflict and why He cares so much about it.
So let’s jump in, when it comes to conflict, there are usually several “root” issues when it comes to the way we view ourselves.
We either have to deal with these root issues or we will continue to have the same theme and outcomes to our conversations over and over again.
Before we get into the different root issues we can identify in ourselves, lets look at the most important root in our lives, our spiritual roots by looking at a couple of scripture passages about conflict.
Matthew 5:21 - 26
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister ‘Raca’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny”
Okay, so let’s unpack this passage:
Vs. 21 - 22
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister ‘Raca’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
Jesus knows the power conflict can have on a person, so here He is comparing it to murder.
Which at first glance may seem extreme, but let's really stop and think about it.
How many relationships have been either completely broken or very much damaged because of conflict? Can you think of one if not multiple?
Conflict has the power of death, much like murder, if we aren’t willing to do the work and put in the effort to do conflict well.
We have to take ownership of the power that our conversations contain, and how we are called to handle them.
In the coming weeks and months, I will share the tools and resources I have created that have made all the difference in my relationships and those around me.
Let’s begin a journey together of cultivating conversations that are healthy, lifegiving, and leave us and others better.