Boundaries on your time

Alright, let’s just get a confession out of the way right now - I have been working on boundaries of time for years and have yet to master it - there it is, I said it.

You are reading this from an imperfect person, who doesn’t have it all figured out, but what I do have is PROGRESS in this area. I have worked hard on this and have even noticed a difference in my life when I adhere to the boundaries I have put on myself.

Let’s just talk about the elephant in the room, shall we?

Social media

This isn’t going to be anything you haven’t heard, but I hope it my thoughts on this are filled with hope and love and not to shame. I want you to know, that I love social media. I have built community, and friends and invested in people because of social media. I have felt alive like I am myself and that I am building what God has called me to on social media. It can be a place of positivity, growth, love, and cherishing if used correctly.

The flipside of this is when we don’t use boundaries on our time and social media that destruction can happen - and yes I do use that strong of a word because it has done so in my own life.

I don’t know if you recall, but a couple of weeks ago, I took a week off from being on social media. I hadn’t planned it, but boy did I need it! Anyway, when I came back to social media I realized that I didn’t need to pick up my phone whenever silence was loud and I wanted to fill a few minutes of time. Instead, I pick up a book, yes, a book with paper and printed words (I am old school and vintage at heart) and I dive into a world of creativity or enter into a story that connects my heart with the characters or I am educated on how to decorate home (shout out to Myquillyn Smith, her book is literally changing our entire home!). Anyway, I felt more alive and more emotion-filled in a positive way than when I spent those few minutes scrolling through social media.

The thing about social media that we have to remember, is that it is not emotionally neutral - you will either feel better after being on it, worse or nothing because you have so numbed yourself that you can go from that cool gadget you need to order from amazon to a tragedy in someone's life, to planning your next vacation (when you make as much money as that person) in 3 seconds.

Social media is not emotionally neutral.

You are going there for one of the above reasons

• To feel happy

• To feel sad

• To feel nothing

You have the choice to put a boundary on yourself, to only allow yourself so much time on social media, but also to only allow yourself on social media WHEN you feel a certain way.

How do you do this?

Start by observing yourself this week - ask yourself:

• How often do I pick up my phone?

• Why am I picking up my phone?

• What do I feel like after I spent time on my phone?

Then, see how YOU need to adjust boundaries on yourself for social media or just time spent on your phone, test them and see if they make a difference in your life.

Something to keep in mind - THIS IS A PROCESS - it is not a one-and-done deal and there is no magic blog you can read that will tell you the exact amount of time to spend on your phone, YOU have to do the WORK of figuring that out!

Projects and Passions

What if I told you that the passion you have for a certain project is a gift, not something that should be put on the back burner?

I know you may be thinking that “well Jess you just don’t understand how busy this season is” and you would be right, I don’t. I really don’t. My challenge to you though, is had God called you to something in this season that you are straight-up ignoring or putting on the back burner because it doesn’t look the way you thought:?

Let me explain, if you have been with me since the beginning of this year, you will know that I have felt the Lord calling me to “cultivate roots” this year in many different ways and arenas of my life. You know what you don’t see when you cultivate roots - blooms. I want to know what the heck I am going to be producing after this season, but the Lord has purposefully and kindly hidden me from knowing the details of the bloom that will come. Literally last night, I told Josh (my hubbin) that I just want to do what I feel like God has called me to do and he looked at me and said “God is still working in this season, don’t you see it, look at all the opportunities you have and how God is confirming where He is leading you even if it isn’t RIGHT NOW”

I know, I know I married a wise man :)

BUT it can be extremely difficult in a waiting season to put boundaries on yourself because it feels like putting up yet another roadblock to where you want to be. BUT what if your lack of boundaries isn’t allowing you to sit in the season God has for you, so you can grow in the ways you need to, so you can move forward, and let God use your current season to get you where you want to go?

When we don’t give ourselves time to sit and think through the future, our passions, and projects that we want to do, we don’t make any progress on them in any capacity.

I have been working on a project for a client for a couple of weeks and until last night at 8 pm, you would have never known it because I didn’t produce something until last night. BUT I have been thinking about it, working through different ideas, getting inspiration, and you know what, when I went to put fingers to the keyboard and my vision down, it went a whole lot faster than other projects I have done.

Because I had taken the time to stop, think, process, and then put in the work.

However, for most of us, we are so busy and haven’t put boundaries on our time that we just move from one thing to another, getting things done, checking off the to-do list (isn’t that so satisfying?!) that we don’t even realize that we are making ourselves work harder and are burning ourselves out until it is too late.

This is why I have become so passionate about putting boundaries on my time, I love to write and blog and oftentimes, I don’t because XYZ is more important than this, but something I have also realized is that YOU MAKE TIME FOR WHAT MATTERS OR WHAT DOESN’T MATTER WILL WIN EVERY TIME.

We have to take back control of our time, so it doesn’t end up controlling us, and don’t miss this, we oftentimes surrender our control to our circumstances.

We choose how we respond to circumstances and we can proactively determine how we will or will not act in given circumstances.

For example, one of the things I have started to do is in the mornings, I don’t look at my phone until after I have spent time with God, drank a cup of coffee, talked to Josh, and done something for my creative self - sometimes all of those things add up to 20min, other times it is a couple of hours, but either way, I have a boundary that I will not engage my time on my phone until those things have happened.

And I want this to end with some freedom here, there are soooo many different ways to do things, and every day you are inundated with “tips, classes, workshops, webinars, quizzes” on how to maximize your life, time, and schedule, and I do all of those things too, but if there isn’t a connection to your heart when you start doing those, the habits only last so long, believe me, i know.

You and God, get to determine what your boundaries are for your time, if you are married, I would include your spouse in on that as well, but first, that is a conversation for you and the God who made you.

The other thing I want to tell you is YOUR LIFE AND BOUNDARIES are going to look different than someone else's.

There is no getting around that, it just is.

We have a God that made each one of us unique and special and crafted us in different ways. My boundaries on time look different than Josh’s and I live and do everyday life with him, but we have different careers, different friends, and different personalities, and all of those pieces that God put in us, make up who we are and what we need from our boundaries on ourself.

You have the freedom to choose what boundaries you will put on yourself, and your time and I hope you experience the same joy and freedom that I have when you do.

My final thought is, don’t leave people out of the loop, if you start down this journey it will change a lot about you, for the better, but a few people in your life may need some explanations. It doesn’t mean you have to justify it, you can give explanations without justifications and we will talk more about that in a couple of weeks, but I wanted you to know, that the people in your life will notice and it is okay to let them in on what you are doing if you want!

You are so amazing and I hope your life continues to grow and cultivate the roots God is calling you to deepen in the season He has you in!